the laments of an anticorpritist

yesterday it became painfully apparent as, while at work tidying up the bookstore, i picked up a book entitled the life you can save & began reading the inner leaflet, the life of an; anti-capitalist, anti-economist, a life i feel compelled to live, is going to be a very lonely one.

not too long ago, i was having a conversation, a bit of a debate, with a lovely girl whom had won my romantic interests, about our opinions & desires in relation to economics & specifically the "need" for money. our opinions were pretty much polar opposites. she being of the opinion, that money was important if one, like herself, desired to have nice things & to do exciting things, such as travel, & that that was the way it was, & would always be. i being of the opinion, that there are things far more valuable than money, & that there was the possibility of a world without money. as i reflect on it, it seems our desires were founded on, her wanting things without having to work for them, where i was willing to work with no expectation of reward because it was good for the whole of society.

during the course of this debate, she said to me, that the ideals i hold, if i was to truly live them, would result in a very lonely life, as there are very few people who would agree & accept the life of sacrifice. now the funny thing about that is, that we both being of the same faith (the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints), & both having had made certain covenants with God to live a life of sacrifice/concecration. but i suppose each individual's personal sacrifice is up to interpretation.

over the next few weeks, i have been trying to think of a way that these two beliefs could be reconciled. & actually that is not a very hard thing to accomplish, as long as both understand that they both must compromise & sacrifice  a little bit of their own desires in order to satisfy the other's. but now that in itself is a very hard thing to do, for i can be as willing as ever to work within the system we are in currently, in order to provide the things she desires & that would bring her happiness, but no matter what i say or do, it is she, & she alone, who must be willing to work within my idealic lifestyle in order to provide the things i desire & that would bring me happiness. & so, we meet at an empass.

so where does this leave me? i recently began reading a book called money & the meaning of life. i picked it up from work, of course, thinking maybe it would give me some insight into how money could be beneficial to the world, as a service to society. well, i am only a couple chapters in so far, & it has only served to support the ideals i already hold. that it is possible to create a world that is not dictated by the value of money, but by the value of value. i believe that we do not need to live our lives under the pretense of, "can we afford that?" i believe that the good of the whole can be our primary motivator to work hard & produce & create. i believe that our world, & the societies in it, & the populations (human, animal & plant) in them, can be easily self sufficient, if we all chip in, & circulate our resources according to individual/familial need, & by cutting down on the amount of things we consume/waste. this world is suited to feed, clothe, & house every individual at least once or twice over. yet, because of our nature, there are millions of americans that are unhealthy & overweight, who still throw out half of their proccessed "happy" meals, while on the other side of the world there are millions of starving, dieing, diseased men, women & children with nothing to eat, nothing to wear & no where to find shelter, let alone medical attention. there are millions of americans (myself included) who pay top dollar to meet with a therapist on a regular basis, & for medication that is not far from being narcotics in order to cope with the stresses of our modern life, while across the world there are millions of people suffering from various epidemics, like the spread of aids in africa, but have no clinics to go to, nor doctors to treat them. our world is violently unbalanced, & it needs to change. & often i feel like i might be the only one who would be willing; to give up my king-sized bed, to give up the medication i take daily to keep me "emotionally stable", to give up some of the meals i never finish, to give up part of my extensive wardrobe, in order to provide a few basic human needs to a family who is stricken with poverty. & it very well could be true that i am the only one. but, even if that is true, & i may have to live out my idealistic life all alone, despite my heart's deepest desire to have someone to share these ideals with & to spend eternity together, i will not, & cannot, give up these ideals, they are part of my very being, & i will not stop trying to bring this zion society to pass while still on this earth.

so, to reprise the words of another very revolutionary thinker, one whom i actually quite despise, "you may say im a dreamer, & i may be the only one, but even if you never join me, ill still stand alone."

word. chiddy.the.kidd

last time modified: Sept. 14, 2011, 6:53 a.m.